Masturbating as thinking. Damn. Who’d have thought that at some point, we foreign English teachers would probably have to say, “This is off limits in class”?
In Charles Bukowski’s book Ham on Rye, there was a scene where a kid was spanking the monkey in class because the teacher was attractive. It was funny as hell for the time (~1930s LA), but real life stories like this one tend to be as crazy as they are funny.